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If I ran the zoo

No, my obsession is no longer Donald Trump or the Mariners or preparing to vote for the Oscars. My obsession is BIRDS.

I sit in my hot tub at least twice a day and I am transfixed by the bird feeders that I have in my backyard. The birds scatter when I walk by but I settle down and don't move around at all and they come back in droves.

I've also placed a feeder in my front yard that I can watch while I am sitting in front of the television in my living room.

This has led to a very important decision in my life: I have left God a message that when I die, I will be reincarnated as a bird. Obviou...


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