If I ran the zoo

 


Dear Sir Donald,

I am writing to you as a fellow New Yorker. Okay, we grew up a little differently but we are both very tough and very proud people.

We both avoided fighting in Viet Nam. I failed my physical but your rich father used his connections to get a doctor to make up a story that classified you as 4F. We were both Bill and Hillary Clinton supporters back in the day but I became a progressive independent and you became a right-wing Republican.

It is clear after last weekend’s fiasco in Tulsa that your reelection campaign is going down in flames and I know you well enough to gauge that you do not want to go down in history as one

of America’s greatest political losers. That became clear right after several very highly respected military leaders said you were not fit for the job.

My sincere advice is that you drop out of the race sooner than later. You have many reasons you can use: It is clear that the times and fates have conspired against you, your health isn’t great, the American electorate is just not smart enough to understand you, the media has conspired to use fake news to paint you in a very negative light.

Oh, and you are paying the price for leading the country during the worse pandemic since the influenza just over 100 years ago.

You aren’t as stupid as you come off when you are purposely dumbing down to appeal to your base – saying things like we need to stop testing for COVID-19 to keep the numbers down.

You will bow out in time for your party to select a reasonable candidate, probably Mitt Romney, and your richest backers will support this decision.

Believe me, you do not want to undergo a media campaign in which the words from the likes of Mitch McConnell will be used against you and your disgusting quotes about women and your praise of Nazi sympathizers are played over and over again on TV and radio.

If this isn’t enough to convince you to step down, hopefully with grace, then feel free to contact me directly via the LaConner Weekly News and I will present you with much more damning evidence that you are heading for one of the worst shellackings in American history.

From one New Yorker to another, I am here for you man!

 

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